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The Muslim
Wedding Ceremony
Muslim weddings throughout the subcontinent have
developed specifically Asian traditions while maintaining Islamic
marriage requirements.
Some Muslim weddings in Pakistan last as longs
as four days and some just one. Generally, rituals vary throughout
Muslim regions of the Subcontinent
Pre-Wedding Rituals
Many Muslim weddings involve middlemen of some sort; people
responsible for introducing the two families and helping to arrange
the wedding between them. These marriage brokers, with their
discretion, help to prevent the family embarrassment of rejection.
Once a marriage has been successfully arranged, an engagement will
take place. At the engagement, the couple exchanges gifts of clothing,
toiletries, sweets and food. The groom-to-be places a sweetmeat in the
future bride's mouth (because it is a happy occasion, the bride's
mouth should be sweet). The engagement period for a new couple offers
them the chance to get to know each other personally.
At the engagement, a dowry amount may be decided on. This differs from
other Asian wedding customs, as a Muslim dowry is by the groom to his
bride. One night before the wedding, the bride's female relatives and
close friends will perform the mehndi ceremony. This tradition, dating
back to Mughal times, signifies the strength of love in a marriage.
The bride's hands and feet are decorated with ornate patterns using a
paste consisting of henna, lemon juice, oil and water steeped in tea
leaves.
The Wedding Day
The wedding day consists of two parts -the nikah and the waleema. The
nikah is the legal binding of the couple in a civil ceremony while
waleema has a more personal element.
In the nikah, a party of men including the groom, an Imam (holy man),
and three representatives for the bride meet at a local mosque.
Some communities hold the nikah with the bride present or they might
even hold it at an office instead of a mosque. Based on the
preferences of the families and the Imam, a few words from the Qu'ran
may be spoken. The dowry, having been decided at the engagement, is
then paid to the bride's family. The bride's witnesses are then asked
three times whether or not she accepts the marriage and papers legally
binding the couple is signed. The party returns from the nikah to
begin the waleema.
Some Muslims consider the waleema unnecessary but certain communities
still use the ceremony. Muslims not opting for the waleema follow the
nikah with a few simple rituals at the homes of the bride and groom.
The bride, waiting at the groom's home, will welcome the party
returning from the nikah. In the classic symbolism of union, the groom
will place a ring on the bride's finger. The officially married couple
then goes to the bride's family home for a celebratory meal.
Because the bride now officially belongs to her husband's family, she
greets her natural family as an outsider. The groom will have to pay
his sister-in-law to enter the house and then pay the cook to begin
the meal. At the meal, men and women are served separately. After the
meal, the bride and groom are seated together and a dupatta (shawl) is
placed over their heads as they recite prayers. The couple then
returns to the groom's family home, paying his sister to enter. Her
welcoming by the groom's family marks the bride's official entrance
into their house.
For Muslims using a waleema, a hall is normally hired. To begin, the
bride is dressed in an ornately decorated lengha (skirt) and blouse of
red while the groom is dressed in a suit (traditionally white) and
turban. The two families exchange gifts and the Imam gives an address.
No text is specifically designated for weddings so the Imam's address
varies both regionally and personally. A feast follows the Imam's
words - usually pillau rice, curry and…because of its scarcity on the
Subcontinent… sodas.
At specific times during the meal the groom is made to haggle with the
bride's sisters for both a glass of milk and his shoes (stolen by them
earlier in the day). To end the waleema, the couple have a copy of the
Qu'ran held over their heads while rice is scattered at their feet to
wish the bride luck in her new home. The bride and groom, now married
both legally and personally, go to the groom's house to begin married
life.
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